Mai Chisamba, my heart is heavy and I have failed forgive myself. I am in a very stable relationship, all being equal, my would-be spouse is going to pay lobola in mid-October this year for me.
I am 24 and he is 26. Last year we had an end-of-year party and most people drank alcoholic beverages. I went for a certain type of sweet wine and I got quite drunk.
I am the boss’s secretary and on this day he called me to the office pretending that he wanted something.
I walked across from where we were having the party, the moment I got into the office he stood up and kissed me, the unfortunate thing is I responded because I was in this drunken state.
Kunge zvinei a certain lady followed bringing my phone, my boyfriend was on the line.
Akati here is your phone it’s ringing, kunyara kunokunda kufa.
I sobered down then just moved away, to tell the truth it was just one stolen kiss and nothing else. I could not even rejoin the rest of the staff, I went straight home. I just didn’t know what to do.
The lady who followed me anonzi “Zimwaya” – hapana chinogara muhana make. That very evening vekubasa were calling and asking.
I knew Zimwaya had done what she knows best. My boss has since apologised and we never talked about this again. My problem is what if my boyfriend hears about this?
I don’t feel comfortable whenever he comes to pick me up ndinotya kuti achaudzwa nezvisizvo.
Both our families are now aware of our intentions. I don’t want to be embarrassed. My boss is married saka ndingafirei. There is a lot of tension at work nenyaya dzekudzingwa mabasa idzi and ini ndiri kurehwa kuti pachasara “small house” yaboss.
Please help, my conscience is killing me.
MAI CHISAMBA RESPONDS
Unfortunately, I have no kind words for you. What you did is both shameful and childish.
My personal opinion is you are now trying to hide behind the wine.
If you managed to pull off from your boss when this lady bumped in then it means you were of a sound mind. Why didn’t you continue? Why were you embarrassed? Munhu akadhakwa haazive kunyara.
The fact that you responded waters down your case. You say you are in a stable relationship, why then involve yourself with a married man? In your letter you don’t even talk about resisting you just went straight into his arms and started kissing, inga zvapfava nhai.
I am sorry to bombard you with so many questions, I am trying to make sense.
Had this colleague not followed you with your phone manga muchaperera papi? Was this the first time your boss made advances on you?
Because the normal thing is munhu anombokandawo kashoko or just sweet talk you kwete kungosimuka nekungotanga? I don’t want to dwell on Zimwaya because on this particular day you gave her what to talk about.
The positive thing is you still have a conscience, you feel guilty and you don’t want to hurt the love of your life. The truth is you can’t move on before you clear your conscience.
Don’t wait for Zimwaya or anyone to tell your would-be spouse, pamwe zviri kutotaurwa zvakakura kupfuura the kiss you are talking about.
My advice is consult a counsellor who will help you confess to your boyfriend in a way that will not disturb your plans and your future. Mabasa ari kunetsa hawo but try and look for alternative employment so that you start on a clean slate and your would-be spouse’s mind will be at rest.
Don’t go into a marriage with skeletons in your cupboard, if he loves you munongogadzirisana. Dai zvaigona wambosiya hako doro and wine – une marambadoro. I mean well, I hope you won’t take offence. Pray over this sincerely and God will do the best. I wish you all the best.