With the weather warming up, wedding season has officially arrived.
Amidst the exciting plans for your beautiful wedding – selecting flowers, choosing canapés and debating photographers – a crucial topic often overlooked is money.
While infidelity is a major cause of divorce, many studies indicate that financial disagreements are a close second or even the top cause of conflict and marital breakdown.
Financial issues like debt, unexpected expenses, or differing financial goals create significant stress and anxiety within a relationship, leading to tension and conflict.
Just like a business merger, a marriage involves blending financial lives. To ensure a happy future together, it’s essential to have an open and honest “money talk” before you say your vows.
The first step is to understand each other’s financial beliefs. This doesn’t mean you should judge one another. Instead, it’s about creating a plan for a future that can withstand any storms.
Cebile Zibi, head of trade marketing at Momentum Advice, shares a helpful guide for that important conversation:
- Debt and assets: What debts do you and your partner have? This can include things like credit card bills or student loans. It’s also important to talk about any assets you own, like a house or investments. Discussing how to handle these debts is a key part of your financial planning.
- Monthly income flow: Will you combine your money into one account or keep your accounts separate? Some couples use a mix of both. It’s nice to decide who will pay which bills and how you’ll budget your expenses as a couple.
- Lifestyle and expectations: What are your must-haves? Are you a big spender or do you prefer saving? Talk about whether you want to save for holidays or buy a house. Understanding how you both feel about spending and saving is key to avoiding future conflicts.
- Big goals and windfalls: What are your big savings targets? This could be buying a house or saving for your children’s education. Decide together how you will handle any unexpected money, like a bonus at work or an inheritance from family.
- Familial support: Do you or your partner have family members who depend on you financially? Discuss how you plan to support them while setting clear boundaries.
“An imbalanced money dynamic, particularly if one partner is the primary breadwinner or earns significantly more than the other, can be damaging to a relationship, which is why having a financial discussion before marriage will help to set clear expectations and avoid resentments in the future,” says Zibi.
When money problems go unresolved, it can breed resentment, reduce intimacy and create emotional distance between partners.
Zibi adds: “The couples who talk about money openly before getting married are likely to face money challenges more easily and enjoy a stronger relationship in the long run.”
Source: IOL